Category: Humor & Satire

Humor & Satire

The Works of Oscar Wilde Publisher: Amereon Limited

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If you cannot strike, then you are unworthy of your freedom. My unique brand of whimsical fantasy is no longer in vogue.” “Instead, this is,” she added, holding a copy of Fifty Shades of Grey at arm’s length with her fingertips, as if it were the oft-used ass-clamp of Christian Grey. Then came "Sons of Mil," the Gaels, or, as they alternatively named themselves, the Scots, who displaced the De Danann and became the dominant people in Ireland. If by the light of these people's reasoning Ireland were placed so often centuries behind in human progress, the logical infer- ence would be that, the country having been put back so many centuries, it could have no actual existence, and was effaced from the surface of the globe.
Humor & Satire

A Handful of Dust

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The united armies of France and America remained for six weeks in the vicinity of Dobbs' Ferry, during which Washington, although his mind was made up to go to the South, kept up the appearances of a meditated attack upon New York. Conan grabbed the rope and dragged the mare from the grazing-field. "May you get as knobby and as knock-kneed, Finn," said he, "for letting the man and beast stay amongst us." "I dare you to lay a hand on my mare," bawled the gillie. "I dare you, Conan." Daniel Byrne opened the corridor and unlocked the cell, letting out as quietly as possible the C.
Humor & Satire

The Uncommon Reader: A Novella

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Keating, Geoffrey, 219 Keegan, John, 430n. John Mitchell believed in denouncing the folly of parlia- mentary agitation to his dying day, to be elected for an Irish constituency, and not to sit in the London Commons, but by the elected member's refusal, protest against the insult that Ireland should send deputies to a foreign and hostile assembly. Then Naisi knew that it was Deirdre, and great dread fell upon him. "The king of the province is betrothed to thee, oh damsel," he said. "I love him not," she replied, "he is an aged man: I would rather love a youth like thee." "Say not so, oh, damsel," said Naisi; "the king is a better spouse than the king's servant." "Thou sayest so," replied Deirdre, "that thou mayest avoid me."
Humor & Satire

The Clockmaker: Or the Sayings and Doings of Samuel Slick

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They were the representatives of a brave, steady, and industrious race, whom England in her career of conquest was determined to plunder not only of freedom, but of their substance, which career of systematic robbery follows the British union jack wherever it flies. For example, in this clip (http://youtu.be/IZzhgH8ap7M?t=1m4s), Allen states that there must be a “tobacco-picking clause” somewhere in the businessman’s document; comments like these made society more aware of what “shrewd [businessmen]” were capable of and less likely to blindly trust in them.
Humor & Satire

Party Girl: A Novel

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This was the first visit he paid to his home since he left it in 1775 to attend the Continental Congress in Philadelphia — a period of six years and five months — and he only remained long enough to await the arrival of Rochambeau, whom he had left in Baltimore. The great man explained his rugby philosophy thus: "You've got to get your first tackle in early, even if it's late". The answer can be summarized by saying: "A foreign flag still floats over Dublin Castle, and the red-coated soldiery of the invader are still in occupation of the island."
Humor & Satire

The WASP FACTORY: A NOVEL

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The world dive-bombing championships were held over the weekend in Heilbronn, Germany. Most early critics extolled the work but treated it only briefly, judging it to be in a unique class of its own and therefore difficult to analyze. His devotion to Irish independence never waned. For all this the Virgin Mary was so grateful that she prayed God that the blacksmith nor his descendants should not suffer from weariness: their weariness was put upon the cowherds. If this is war, and who can doubt it when civilization is dumb, and when this very act is trumpeted forth to the world as an act to glory in, why do these British dynamite fiends assail the character of those people who will not submit tamely to their brutal savagery?
Humor & Satire

Galina Petrovna's Three-Legged Dog Story

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In the ebbing tide of the organization, when want of confidence in the judgment of their chiefs had taken the place of previous high hopes, it was madness to attempt an insurrection. His satires thus not only parody ideas and personalities but also certain ways of expressing those ideas. At the same time he spoke in a loud voice: "Captain Conyngham of the American navy gives himself and his sword into the keeping of the Government of France."
Humor & Satire

The Gates: A Novel

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I just wish I could come over and be like, ‘hey, I wanna be one of YOU’ but nope, I’m just a dumb ole ‘Murican to them. Stern, cold, and pragmatic, Elizabeth is deeply resentful of finding herself married to an alcoholic and living in a coal community. But I do not remember I gave you power to consent that any thing should be omitted, and much less that any thing should be inserted; therefore, as to the latter, I do here renounce every thing of that kind; particularly a paragraph about her majesty Queen Anne, of most pious and glorious memory; although I did reverence and esteem her more than any of human species.
Humor & Satire

The Catch: A Novel

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And now he has thrown away his gage of war, surrenders all his public vows, for a foreign bill which can only bring coercion and chains to Ireland. The Triumvirate sent the following to General Sir George P. Webb as a dangerous and disloyal man: A respectable citizen, who lent his name and influence to foment agitation and disorder in the kingdom by joining and becoming the treasurer of a political movement, whose objects and whose published demands were to materially limit the power of the national Parliament sitting in the national capital, London, by removing a large portion of the kingdom from its law-making authority and thereby impairing that unity and strength which constitutes the national greatness of any people.
Humor & Satire

Poppy Shakespeare: A Novel

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This rent worked the dismemberment of the league in the south. Both Catalpa and Georgette kept increas- ing their distance from Bresiin and his party. Frank and John knocked at the kitchen door. Any law made in contravention of this section shall be void. You gazed steadily upon its dazzling beams and felt that your soul could fly through the lightning of revolution to bring those white-winged messengers, Peace and Freedom, to your prostrate and stricken land.